


Growing Ranks

by Monstradamus



Category: Magic: The Gathering
Genre: F/F, Family Fluff, Pregnancy, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-03-10
Packaged: 2018-09-17 08:00:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9312638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Monstradamus/pseuds/Monstradamus
Summary: Nissa decides she wants to take a big step in her relationship with Chandra. Chandra however, assumes something else is going on. And the rest of the Gatewatch is left baffled and caught up in the prospect that they may lose two of their most powerful allies. Told from the differing perspectives of WotC's latest pairing. Multi-chap fic in progress.





	1. Chandra: Master of Relationships

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this will be my first fanfic on AO3, and I'm happy to share it because I normally don't write any particular pairings. Comments are always welcome, as I strive for nothing more than to grow as an author. I own nothing of MTG, the characters, or the amazing story created by WotC. Enjoy!

Damn it! I can already tell what’s happening. I should’ve seen it, should’ve known it was coming. And I thought everything was fine.

Nissa said she wanted to talk about something important tonight, which can only mean one thing. Stupid, stupid, stupid, Chandra! You had to go and ruin the one good thing you had. You go and practically destroy your home just because you’re too nervous to talk to her. She goes after you because she really does care, and what do you do? You go and make a complete idiot out of yourself every time you open your mouth. And despite all that, she still says she loves you as you are, so then what do you do? You keep being an idiot until she can’t stand it anymore. Nice work, Chandra. You’re just a master with relationships.

I pound the hell out of Gids latest punching bag, but I’m careful this time not to break it. That’s what started me down that road anyway. I’m not mad at her, just mad at me. Why can’t I be all calm and shit like her? I’m sure that would make things easier for both of us. Instead I keep getting angry and frustrated with everything, which just makes her upset, and argh! Why can’t you just keep your rage to yourself?

Because that would just make Nissa worry about you more. She hates it when I bottle up my feelings, and that’s when she gives me that look. It’s that look that says she feels like she’s the one who’s done something wrong, and that makes her feel even more upset. She’s so worried about understanding people that she doesn’t see she does it better than most of us, better than me anyway. No wonder she wants to break up with me.

I’m about to set Gideon’s punching bag on fire. I can feel it. “What on earth do you think you’re doing?” a voice says, stopping me.

Oh good, because I needed the necromancer scolding me. “Beefslab is only going to be so forgiving once, Chandra,” she says. “And I’m not in the mood to take you on another ‘adventure’ just to cheer you up.”

“Well, who asked for your help anyway?”

“Ooh, someone’s in a wonderful mood today. Look, sweetie, all of the Gatewatch would prefer you not destroying property.”

I brush my hair out of my eyes. Yeah right. She just likes to be in on all the little secrets we have. That, or her frustrations with Jace are causing her to live vicariously through my relationship with Nissa. “Look, it’s just Nissa, okay?” I say, brushing past her and up the stairs. I have to meet her right now anyway.

“Hm, this is why I say never mix business with pleasure,” she says coolly. “It’s one thing that you work with each other, but dating? Honey, you see more of each other than you really care to, spending all that time together.”

“No one asked you, okay?”

She places her hands on her hips just watching me go. Good, just see if you can have a comeback to that. “Hmpf, that elf needs to have better taste,” she mutters. Damn, she’s good.

I bang the door open to the roof garden. I didn’t mean to do that. Now she must think I’m really pissed or something. Thankfully, I don’t hear any kind of reproachful tone from her. Nissa isn’t the sort to do that. “I’m back here,” she calls.

In the three years we’ve been dating, she’s really started to flourish here in Ravnica. She says the atmosphere is still very unnatural and suffocating, but she is at least managing. For a while, when we first came here, we thought she’d have a breakdown, and even though I seem the most destructive, she could be even worse if provoked. She can at least now manage to go out to the market with me when it’s our turn to do the shopping for the week without bursting into tears or complaining of a splitting headache like she used to. And I’m just glad she finally stopped sleeping in the potted plants like she used to on Kaladesh. I couldn’t stand to see her that miserable.

I find her tending to some wickedly bright-orange flowers. She must’ve told me a million times what they were, but I can never remember. It was warm enough today that she took off the long trailing green cloak she always wears. The rest of her clothes are so skin-tight, I can see every curve of her body, which she knows drives me wild. I watch the wind brush her braid gently as it shines against the sunset as she hums what I think is a Joraga tune. How did I get so lucky to have a girl as beautiful as her?

There’s some elemental running around her feet like a playful kitten. She laughs and pets its head. Nissa told me once that the land doesn’t always like to come out to fight for her; sometimes it just wants to visit and play, just like any living thing. I haven’t quite understood all of how she talks to a world, but I’m better at it than the others. 

I know I won’t get another chance after this conversation, so I take my time to sneak up and grab her from behind, my hands wrapping around her waist and I kiss the back of her neck. She laughs with that low and gentle voice and playfully swats me away. “Now why did you have to do that?” she says. “You nearly scared me.”

The little elemental paws at my shins, its tail swishing back and forth. I let go of her long enough for her to turn around. “Oh come on, you had to have heard me coming. I’m not exactly what you’d call subtle.”

She brushes a stray hair back behind her tall, gorgeous, elven ears. “No, I suppose not,” she says, suddenly getting quiet, that nervous quiet she always gets when she doesn’t know how to talk to people. I’m worried now.

“So, uh, there was something you wanted to talk about?” Real smooth, Chandra, just be direct about it.

“Oh, yes,” she says, motioning for me to sit on the ledge with her. Wouldn’t that be my luck to fall off and really make an idiot out of myself?

I sit, but I’m not quite ready to meet her in those deep green eyes. “Look, we’ve been together for some time now,” she begins.

“Yeah?” Why did I say that like a question? You’re blowing it. Reel it back and let her talk.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, really since defeating the eldrazi on Zendikar, but even more now since I’ve been with you.”

Wait, what? Is she thinking of not only leaving me but the whole Gatewatch to go back home? No, Nissa! You can’t go, not like gone-gone. I swallow hard, trying not to just shout all this out right now. Is it getting hot in here or something? She’s still talking. I’d better pay attention. “Anyway, it’s not something easy to discuss.” She pauses, looking for the right word. She does that a lot. I never could believe she hardly talked with others before us. “No, that’s not right. It’s not…I don’t know. Look, I’ll just have to say it. Chandra, I love you, and I think…”

“Okay, I’ll just stop you right there,” I say, standing. What am I doing? Shut up, shut up! “Nis, I know you gotta do what’s best for you and stuff, and I want to see you happy, but you can’t do this. You can’t just throw it all suddenly on me like this.”

“But I thought you would be happy about this,” Nissa says, feeling that social awkwardness again as she realizes she failed to read people.

“Happy? What in your right mind makes you think I would be happy?” Oh good, Chandra, make it better by yelling at her. Don’t you see the tears already starting in her eyes? “I love you and I need you, Nissa. What makes you think that leaving me would make me happy?”

Now something seems to click, and I feel like a total ass. Nissa bolts up, the realization hitting her. “Oh no, Chandra, that’s not what I mean at all,” she says, standing and embracing me. “I would never think about leaving you. You make me feel…whole. I’m sorry, I’ve done something wrong to lead you to think that that was even a possibility.” She always assumes it’s her fault for not understanding some social more to get me worked up like this.

I deflate a little, practically crumpling in her arms. “No, you did nothing wrong,” I say. “I’m the one who jumped to that conclusion. You said you wanted to talk about something big, and I just assumed…well, go on, what were you going to tell me?”

Her face reddens as she tries to find her words again. It seems I disrupted whatever speech she had prepared ahead of time. “I just wanted to talk, and I mean only talk, about…well, having a family.”

I’m still coming down from the shock that she’s not breaking up with me. It takes so long for me to register what it is she’s saying. I guess she can tell when I figure it out because my eyes feel like they got so wide, they’ll just pop. “You mean…have a baby with you?” I sputter.

She only nods, her blush creeping to every inch of her face. She has her hands clasped together, resting on her lap as she waits for my answer. I’m still babbling like a moron. “But…well, I mean…that would be, uh…” I try at least twenty times to get my thoughts out. Finally one hits me, but I don’t think it’s the yes or no answer she’s looking for. “Well, how do you expect for that to happen, Nis? I mean, we can’t, you know…have a child naturally.”

She starts undoing her braid, and I can tell she’s starting to feel bad for having asked the question. I gotta make her feel better somehow. “I know,” she sighs, “but there are ways, or we could always adopt, but Chandra, let’s talk about that later. I want to know, if that weren’t an obstacle, would you? With me?”

It would never be a question of whether or not it would be her. It’s just a question of would I at all? I never really gave it much thought, not even as a kid. I’d always imagined that I would’ve been some renegade inventor like my parents, living life on the edge, and that be it. Oh sure, if the right someone came along, I might have thought about it, but back then I’d imagined it would’ve been a guy. After my spark ignited, I never gave it another thought. I never thought I’d have anything close to a family again. And after the Gatewatch, well, I was glad to have something like a family, but they were more like siblings. I didn’t really think of any kind of family for the future.

But then I looked at her again. She was patiently waiting for my answer, and I could see it. I could see every morning waking up next to her in a place of our own on a plane with lots of nature just to make her smile. I could see me playing with our kids, you know, two or three of them, helping them get in trouble, while Nissa would just roll her eyes at me for teaching them bad habits. She’d spend all her time teaching them nature magic and teaching them to care for the world, while I watched on with pride. Oh sure, I’d think I’d be teaching at least one of them how to use pyromancy. And every night, just before going to bed, I’d think there would be nowhere else I’d rather be. “Chandra?” I hear her voice say, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Chandra, if this upsets you, I won’t…”

Before she can voice another doubt, I pull her in for a kiss. At first, she’s surprised, but then closes her eyes and enjoys the moment. Makes me think of our first kiss. On our last night before leaving Kaladesh, Tezzeret defeated and everything, I take her to see some of the more natural settings on the plane. I had just told her how I felt, and practically had my heart leap out of my chest when she told me she felt the same way. I wanted to take her somewhere special, just to savor that moment. We were looking at the beautiful filigree-shaped waters of a pond when she just turned and looked at me, those green eyes half closed as she studied me. She smiled when I got all flustered and asked why she was looking at me. She didn’t answer and just kissed me. It was quick and she hadn’t aimed well, kissing my nose instead. We both laughed, and I pulled her in for a real kiss, but we would always know the one she gave me was our first.

I pull back, long enough to give her a real answer. “Nis, I can’t imagine having kids with anyone else but you. Let’s do it!”

“Really?”

I rest a hand on her belly. I know she’s not pregnant yet, but in a way, it feels like it. She places her hand over mine. “Sure, as many as you want,” I promise, not exactly thinking that through. Don’t elves usually like big families? I still know I would do it, just to see her happy.

She laughs again. “Let’s just concentrate on having one right now.”

“Okay, so now tell me, how exactly did you think we were going to have a kid? I mean, did you want to adopt or what exactly did you have in mind?”

She kisses me again. Whenever she kisses me, my hair comes so close to igniting right there. “Not right now,” she says. “We can talk about all that tomorrow. Right now, I just want to enjoy how lucky I am to have you.”

We start leaning back onto the grass floor of the roof. “Nissa, you know we’re out in the open right? Ravnica’s a crowded city. People will see us.”

Oh what the hell? She’s already let her own inhibitions go? Why stop her? I let her lean into me and we spend the rest of the night up there on the roof.


	2. Gideon, Perfect Specimen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nissa and Chandra make all the necessary decisions for their plan. Too bad, Gideon has to be a pawn in this scheme, despite his convictions. Dinner shenanigans ensue.

(The Next Day)

This isn’t how I saw my day going. By now, it’s midday, Jace is busy doing Guildpact stuff, Liliana’s out doing…whatever, and Nissa’s already on the roof garden, probably making it explode with plants right now. It’s not that she’s never happy or anything, but she’s always been so calm and collected, which makes her seem just content. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her over-the-moon excited before. She’s had a huge grin plastered to her face since last evening, and already seems to have that mother-to-be glow about her. There’s a very good chance Jace will find his whole house overgrown with plants by the end of the week.

And me? I’m just lying on my bed thinking about this morning, and trying to avoid Gids. Today, I finally wanted to talk to Nissa about the logistics of our plans. Normally, she’s the one who comes up with the all the ins and outs of a plan between us, so this felt weird. We started out agreeing that as we made the important decisions, we’d each get one veto if we ever disagreed on something.

“Okay, so first thing’s first,” I said. “How do you want to do this? I mean, are you wanting something natural, or adoption?”

We needed someplace private, so we opted for my room. She sat cross-legged on the end of the bed, thinking on it. “I suppose I wouldn’t mind either,” she said.

But I could sense what was not said. “But you’d prefer natural, right?”

She nodded, and I sighed. Well, I could agree to it, on one condition. “Okay, so I guess then we’d have to decide who would…you know, have to be pregnant.” She went pretty quiet then, which made me worry. “Look, I love you, and would do anything for you, but there are limits here,” I start to say.

I always did think it was cute the way her ears would perk straight up when she’s surprised or startled. “Oh no, I wanted to offer anyway,” she said. “I assumed you thought that as well.”

“Oh, haha,” I laughed, “well, I guess that’s a good thing we can agree on that.” Good, I at least saved my veto. That was the one thing I was worried about. Besides, I could picture Nissa being better at that sort of thing anyway. I’d just burn down a whole city the minute I got a mood swing. I tried to get back on task. “Besides, it’d be cute if they got your elf ears or your eyes. So then, now we have to…” I’m having trouble just thinking about it.

“Find a suitable candidate to impregnate me,” Nissa finished, trying her best to make it sound like not a big deal. Both of us can’t get past how awkward this is going to be.

“Yeah, that.” I said, scratching nervously. “So, I mean, would it have to be another elf or something?”

She thought for a moment, trying to decide if that was an issue. “If they’re of the humanoid family like humans, elves, or kor, then I don’t think it would be a problem. I had a friend back on Zendikar who would…”

“Well, wait a minute,” I said, “if we’re going to have a child together, I’d kinda like them to be a little of both of us. You know, elf and human? I mean, I don’t want to use my veto on something silly like that but…”

I knew Nissa didn’t hate humans, but she found them ignorant of the needs of a plane, which made her sometimes biased against them. She gave me an exception because of her feelings for me, but I could tell this isn’t her first choice. “That does make sense,” she finally said. “I suppose that’s fair. Do you mean for the father to be one of the Gatewatch?”

The idea never crossed my mind, and made it all the more weirder because we’re so close to them. But the more I thought about it, the more that makes sense. I mean, finding a total stranger would be weird, and having the father be a planeswalker would increase the chances the child would be a planeswalker, right? I didn’t even know how to understand how we were born planeswalkers to even have any of that make logical sense. “Um, sure. Who do you have in mind?”

I could see that she’s getting embarrassed talking about it. At least I wasn’t the only one. “Well, Gideon does have better physical traits. If this were the mating habits of baloths, he’d be a most desirable mate. Jace does have a brilliant mind…”

We both seemed to say it together, and laughed. “Gideon,” we agreed.

“Yeah, I couldn’t deal with another smartass like Jace as my kid,” I said. “One’s annoying enough.”

She smiled, but didn’t respond. I know she doesn’t like to talk ill of our teammates, no matter how much they get on our nerves sometimes. Though, she isn’t too shy to express her distrust of Liliana. Then, another thought hit me. “Wait, I’m going to have to be the one to ask him, aren’t I?”

She shrugged. “Well, you two are closer and have a longer history together.”

Great, I thought, that’s going to be a fun conversation. So, Gids, I know this is weird and all, but I need you to get my girlfriend pregnant. Want to help a pal out? Yeah, that’s gonna go over great. I’m already dreading it when Nissa spoke up again. “There is one more thing I think we need to talk about with all this.”

Couldn’t get any worse, I figure. “Sure, shoot.”

“Well, I’ve been thinking about how this would all work with planeswalking,” she began. “When we travel, we can’t take any non-planeswalkers with us. I’ve asked Jace about his thoughts on how planeswalkers come to be. According to Jace’s theories, even if both parents were planeswalkers, the chances the child would be are still infinitely small. And even if they were, well, they couldn’t planeswalk until their spark ignited.”

I sat up, a little confused. “So, what are you saying?”

She took a deep breath and tried to find the right way to put it. I think she sometimes gets frustrated when I don’t catch onto stuff as quickly. “If I were to planeswalk at any time during my pregnancy, I fear that I would leave, but the fetus would stay on the plane.”

I scooted closer to her, resting my hands on hers. “So, you’re saying we’d lose the child if you ever left a plane?”

She nodded. “I’d have to be confined to one plane until the child is born,” she said, “and even after that, one of us would always have to be there since they would never be able to leave.”

Wow, we were really talking about settling down, for good possibly. At the very least, we could not be a part of the Gatewatch together. This didn’t seem to bother her, so why did she bring it up. Oh wait! Of course. “So, you’re saying you want to be on Zendikar for all of this?” I finally reasoned out.

She smiled. “I don’t want to use my veto, but…”

In the grand scheme of things, this didn’t matter all that much for me. Yeah, it would’ve been nice for my mom to have seen her grandchild, but I still have so many bad memories associated with Kaladesh that I wouldn’t want to make our life there. And I could care less about Ravnica, but I know she’s miserable here. Zendikar would really work out for us. And besides, a happy, comfortable Nissa on Zendikar would be better than the alternative. “Sure,” I said, “but I don’t think Jace is going to be happy that half of the Gatewatch is gone to Zendikar for an extensive period of time.”

She hardly gave it a thought, and wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. In the end, we were both satisfied with the plan. Now, it was just up to me to get Gideon on board. That was something I wasn’t looking forward to.

I can hear him coming up the steps, bringing me out of the memory. Maybe if I just stay quiet, he’ll think I’m gone, and I can avoid him for now. Nissa won’t like it, but I’m just not up for it right now. Come on, come on, keep going on past my door. Shit! “Come in,” I say through gritted teeth.

“Hey, so I ran into Nissa earlier. She seems…really happy today. You two up to something?” he teases.

Hitting him with a fireball seems so much easier than speaking right now. “No, nothing unusual,” I lie, “just had a great afternoon all to ourselves.”

He nods. “Well, that’s good. Anyway, she says you needed to talk to me about something?”

Nissa, I love you, but you gotta stop butting in like this. “Oh well, yeah, but it’s nothing really.” Isn’t there a kids’ story about an elemental whose nose grows every time he tells a lie? “Can we talk about it later, like when we spar or something tonight?”

He scratches his head, confused. “Um, sure. Everything alright? You seem a little tense. I know a great stretch routine that’ll loosen up all that tensed muscle.”

I bolt out the door. “Yeah, great, whatever. See you tonight!”

Dinner tonight is incredibly quiet. On a normal day, we’re either discussing the latest mission we have, or Gideon and I get into a rowdy debate bringing Jace in to solve it, or Liliana says something to provoke Jace or Nissa. There are no new missions lately, and I’m trying desperately not to snap my fork in half or flambé my dinner as I watch Gideon from across the table. Jace and Nissa prefer quiet, so they could care less. Nissa occasionally sneaks a glance at me as she sits beside me. I try to smile back, concealing how nervous I really am. Liliana just watches us from across the table. She knows somethings up, but just wants to watch.

Gids is starting to sense something’s up too, but all he can do is stare back at me. Please look away, Gids, I can’t take it anymore. I’m only inches away from breaking something or setting something on fire when it’s Jace who has the outburst. “Oh, for the love of…would you just ask him already, Chandra?”

His shout rings out across the whole sanctum, and it finally dawns on me. Between Nissa and I, our thoughts must sound like shouting to him. This manages to elicit a snicker from Nissa, who hadn’t thought about that either. Gids and Liliana just look at him. “Ask me what?” Gideon asks, turning back to me.

I start pulling at my shirt collar. This wasn’t the time Jace. “Uh well, you see…I, I mean Nissa and I…well, we need…”

Jace is really losing it tonight. “They’ve decided they want to have a child and they need you to impregnate Nissa,” he finishes for me.

Gids nearly chokes on his meat and Lilliana only takes a sip of wine with a look on her face that says “Oh, I’m glad I stayed for dinner tonight.” And I know my face is as red as my hair right now. I look over to Nissa. Her eyes are closed. She’s doing that thing where she pretends to be a plant on another plane. Way to be supportive. All eyes now turn to Gideon. “Wait, you’re serious about all this?”

It’s actually Nissa who answers. Hm, I guess she is still with us. “Very,” she says. “We’ve given it much thought. We’ve considered the possibility of having a child, and since we cannot do that naturally, we deemed you the most suitable-”

“Sperm drone,” Liliana finishes, which makes Nissa glare at her.

Gideon nearly chokes again. We kinda need him alive if this is going to work. “But…but I would have to…and you two are…look, this feels kind of wrong to me. I mean, not you two having a kid, gods no. I get it, and that’s terrific. But isn’t this, well, cheating?”

“Look, it’s not like that,” I say. “I mean, yeah, it kinda is, but it isn’t, you know what I mean? Okay, think of it like this. It isn’t cheating so much as helping two friends build a family. And before you say it, I know you’re a stand-up guy and everything, but we’d appreciate it if you didn’t think of yourself as the father, so much as an uncle to the kid.”

“But, but, but…”

“Oh give it a rest, honey,” Liliana interrupts. “Mr. Goody-two-shoes soldier here isn’t going to break whatever made up rules are in his head to help you.”

Nissa seems to deflate a little, and I know I’m starting to feel disheartened too. Gideon looks from one of us to the other. He finally sighs. “Is this what you really want?” he asks, feeling like he’s already regretting the decision.

“More than anything,” we both agree.

“Fine.”

Nissa rushes up to give him a hug. For once, it’s he who flinches to her touch and not the other way around. He gives her a reassuring pat on the back, all the while giving me an awkward glance. “Thank you,” I mouth to him, “I owe you one.”

“Please don’t” he mouths back.


	3. Nissa, Animist Returned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gatewatch returns to Zendikar, much to Nissa's joy. She and Chandra begin forging a new life together and creating the home they always wanted together. Meanwhile, to Gideon's dismay, Nissa is eager to begin trying for a child.

(Four Months Later)

It has finally happened! At least I think it has. Something is different, of that I am sure. I cradle my stomach in my hands. I know it’s small now and too soon to tell, but I can just feel that there is life growing there now.

Much has happened since we came back to Zendikar. I can still remember the day we arrived there. I breathed in that open air that smells like home. Yes, I can also smell the death and waste that is still there, but it is getting better. Over three years away from home and there has been much progress to help it regrow. True, it is still quite a barren landscape, but everyone is working hard to bring the life back. I know there will be places that will never regrow; the eldrazi caused too much destruction, but it can be a thriving plane once more. 

Bala Ged is still destroyed, so the Joraga have settled elsewhere. I’m not ready to seek them out just yet. I’m not ready to face what has happened to friends and family. I want to enjoy this peace, enjoy this chance to start anew with Chandra before I do that. Besides, Chandra is a human, and I don’t think my people would be all that fond of her living among them, even if she was close to me. Instead, I knew the perfect place for us.

She agreed the minute I suggested it. We went back to the glyph, where I had planted the trees. By now, the Jaddi tree wouldn’t be large, but it would be big enough for maybe one family to live; ours. The rest of them could hardly catch up to me as I ran along to see them. Yes, Jace had decided since we would be gone for so long to move Gatewatch headquarters to Zendikar. He said he didn’t like us all separated, and this way I could still help even if I couldn’t leave. He said he needed someone who acted with purpose like me to help him organize plans. I knew what he was really doing, and I’m happy to know he thinks of me as family.

Words cannot describe my joy of seeing that grove once more. The trees are still young, but they are becoming large and strong. I see a few other seedlings growing nearby, and the grassy area around it has gotten wider. The roots bending and twisting in and out of the ground is a thing of beauty. The fruits on the kolya tree are turning ripe, I can smell it. And the bloodbriar…oh if only the multiverse could see it. I am instantly reminded of home, of my mother. I can hear Chandra’s footsteps finally catching up to me. “Wow, has it really been that long?” she asks, marveling at the trees.

I lean against the bloodbriar, almost embracing it. “Too long,” I mutter.

I grab her hand and take her under the canopy of the Jaddi. The branches have already started to whorl and knot. Some of the branches have outgrown and cascaded down to the ground, forming a hut-like structure. Perfect! I know more of these branches will form these structures for more homes in the future, but for now it is the perfect size for the both of us, and our child. I can hardly believe I’m even able to think it; our child.

Chandra has her arms around me from behind, and I can feel her breathing tickling my ears and neck. She is warm, always so warm. Despite what everyone thinks about her, I know of no safer place to be than in her arms. “Tell me it’s more comfortable than it looks,” she whispered. 

I laugh, knowing she means well. “Yes,” I answered, “it’ll just take a couple of days to get used to. I can rearrange the branches a little to form a fireplace.”

“Wait, a fireplace, in a wood house?” she asked in disbelief.

“Well, sure, but it’s a little different than what you’re used to. If I make it right, we wouldn’t be using a real fire so much as hot embers. Anyway, we will have to build a bed, insulate the walls, but it’ll be a home in no time; our home.”

Gideon interrupted before we could say anymore. “So, this is where you plan on living,” he said, clearly avoiding what he wanted to say. “This is nice.”

“It’ll need a little work, but we could be living in it in a few days,” Chandra said. “So, what did you really want to talk about?”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen him embarrassed before. If it wasn’t such an odd situation for me as well, it would be humorous. He stumbled with his words. “Well, I mean, how is this supposed to work? When are we…?”

Chandra laughed. “Oh, eager are we?”

This makes him feel worse. I try to make it as platonic as possible. “Well, I hit the peak of my ovulation cycle in about five days. We could try then.”

This only makes his face redder. I wish I could understand what to say to people when they are distressed. “So, that’s it then, and I’m done?” he asked, hoping it can’t get any worse.

Unfortunately, it does. “Well, not exactly,” I tried to explain. “We’d have to see if there was a resulting pregnancy. If it didn’t take, we’d have to try again.”

“Great,” he sighed.

For the next few days, Chandra and I made the outgrown branches into a home. It was slow at first, but we make a lot of progress. I had just finished covering the walls in moss to insulate it, and Chandra was securing the bed. “I think we got this place ready,” she said, wiping her brow.

I’m rather impressed and pleased that for once we have a bed for the both of us. Most nights, on Ravnica, Chandra would either sleep with me on the roof-garden, or I’d sometimes be willing to squeeze into her bed on particularly cold nights. “Almost,” I said, “but there’s one thing missing.”

There are still some branches that grow along the ground. Reconnected with my friend, Zendikar once more, we are as in tune as ever. The branches move up and twine together to my movement, forming a pod-like structure at the foot of the bed. It’s curved with an opening at the top. Sure of its stability, I turn back to her. “We were going to need a crib,” I said.

She grabs me and carries me to the bed. “It’s perfect,” she said, leaning down to kiss me.

I did not want that moment to end, but I knew that that night, I had to meet Gideon. I had agreed to meet him in his tent. Jace and Gideon had opted to camp nearby to keep the Gatewatch together. Lilliana however, did not like the idea of “roughing it” and had gone to I don’t care where. 

I wished Gideon would quit worrying so much over this. I know it is not a normal situation, which made it feel strange for me as well, but his issues with it stemmed from another reason. I like how strongly he keeps to his convictions, but sometimes they’re a hindrance to him having any sort of life. Laws were created by people, and matters of nature ignore those laws. I’d wish he’d come to see that.

“So, how do you want to do this?” he asked.

Kind of a silly question, I think. I’m setting aside my clothes as I answered. “You understand how mating works, don’t you?” Perhaps a little humor will put him at ease.

“No, it’s just…wow, that was fast.”

He turned around to find I had already taken my clothes off. I have never been one to feel self-conscious of my body. After all, I’m rarely in it as I try to connect with the land, and besides, it is my body, and it is natural. But the way his gaze burned into my skin, I’m tempted to cover myself once more. No…no, I had to stay strong. He tried to find words again, and I thought I had trouble understanding people. “So, your tattoos are not just on your face,” he blurted out.

I look down at the edges of the green ink that graze my arms and sides. “Yes, when a Jorga child grows into adulthood, they are given these markings to signify their being a part of the tribe. Now, are you not also going to disrobe?”

“Uh, sure.” He tried his best not to even look at me.

Chandra doesn’t know this, but I have been with a male before. Mazik, my childhood friend was my first, but that was when we were young, before I knew anything of the eldrazi. He was sweet and gentle, but neither of us knew what we were doing. We were trying to hide from the rest of the tribe, as we had not been selected to be a mated pair. We never spoke of it after, unfortunately. I think the reason for that was because soon after, I started having my visions.

Thinking on such fond memories, I had almost not noticed Gideon turned around to face me. As I had suspected, he certainly was more impressive than Mazik. I could not help but feel my heart beating rapidly in my chest. Much as I love Chandra, one cannot deny natural urges. Perhaps I had given myself away because Gideon spoke up. “Nissa, I’m starting to have doubts here.”

I’m getting…angry, yes angry with him now. I walk up to him, and I’m so close, my nose is almost against his toned chest. I know this makes him uncomfortable. Good. “This isn’t an ideal situation for me either, but I think I know what bothers you so,” I said, glad my voice is holding strong. “You’re afraid you’ll enjoy it.”

Instincts are starting to take over because he grabbed me by my hips and places me on his bed roll. “Look, you and Chandra are together, it just feels wrong. I want to help you, truly I do. You two deserve to have all the happiness of having a family, but it’s just so…”

His hands were still on my hips and I could feel his manhood extending. Good, maybe there’s still a chance. “I know,” I whispered, “I don’t like the idea of it either, but if we didn’t feel any enjoyment…or arousal, this wouldn’t work. This is just how mating…”

“Please stop talking about it like we’re animals here.”

I pulled him closer to me. “Fine then. For one night, just tonight, pretend I’m not with Chandra. I’m with you.”

XXX

I am laying beside Gideon, my arm slung over his chest, catching my breath. He has not really moved for several minutes after, and I look up at him to see a rather stunned, expressionless look on his face. He notices that I am watching. "You've uh...you've done this before," he says shakily.

"Um, yeah, how did you know?"

"Well, there was that thing where you..."

I laugh. "Oh, that. No...well, I mean, yes, I've been with men before, but that thing was something Yahenni told me to try while we were on Kaladesh."

He doesn't say anything else for a while, though his mouth moves as if to say "oh" and leave it at that. He shifts around to get more comfortable. I really miss his big, toothy grin right now. It would make me feel more at ease after all of this. "I can tell this was your first time," I say after a pause.

He gives a nervous chuckle. "And I suppose you would know?"

I raise an eyebrow. "I know you all think I have been nowhere past Zendikar, but I've been around. I've seen my fair share of the multiverse."

Now it is his turn to tease me. "And apparently your fair share of romance."

I playfully shove him away. "Only a couple of other elves on other planes, and it didn't mean anything," I say. "And I'm not saying you were bad, but I knew you didn't know what to do."

"Well, you'd better get back to Chandra," he says suddenly, and I feel as though I've offended him somehow.

I get up and start putting back on my clothes. As I pull open the curtain opening, I notice the sun's already coming up. "So much for that," I say.

The next morning, while eating with the others, we could hardly look each other in the eye. Jace and Lilliana try to ignore it, although Jace made some snide comment of trying to be quieter. Chandra actually found this kind of amusing, which made me feel better.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t find it so amusing after the subsequent second, third, and now fourth tries. I can tell she’s getting jealous, but she doesn’t know how to express those feelings because she can’t get mad at Gideon or myself. If anything, Gideon’s the one who wants to be a part of this the least. I find her out in one of the many, far too many, wastelands, setting stuff on fire. At least she’s being nice enough not to burn the re-growing parts of the plane, but I can still tell she’s angry.

“Not right now, Nis,” she says, letting the ball of fire in her palm dissipate. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

I never have figured out how she can sense my approach. “I care about you, and there are days where I am going to see you this upset,” I say. “Please, what is wrong?”

She gives a frustrated sigh, knowing I won’t leave. “It’s just this whole you and Gideon thing,” she says. “I get it; it’s kind of a necessary evil and all, but it’s just weird, you know?”

I take a few tentative steps closer. “Imagine how…weird it feels for me.”

“Yeah, I know,” she says, picking up a chunk of dead earth and tossing it. “It can’t be all bad for you though. Gids is pretty good on the eyes.”

I laugh a little. “Well, it isn’t like it is torture. Are you feeling jealous?”

This is where I can tell her anger lies; she doesn’t understand her own feelings about it. “Yes, I mean no, I mean…well, I don’t know what I mean. It’s just, I don’t know, I feel bad that I can’t be the one to be in Gideon’s shoes.”

This baffles me, and I don’t quite understand. “But Chandra, we still…”

She shrugs me off and I know I cannot possibly understand. “Yeah, I know, we still have our fun and everything, but I mean, I’m not the one who’s able to give you a child. We had to ask for help.”

“So, you are upset that it is not you who can get me pregnant,” I say, putting it all together. “Chandra, are you saying that you wish…?”

She brushes her hair behind her ears and straightens her goggles. “I don’t know what I think. It’s just really complicated right now, Nis. But look, I’m not mad at you, okay?”

I embrace her and we just stand there, holding each other for what feels like a lifetime. “I know,” I say, my head buried against her chest, “but you should not be mad at yourself either. I wish I knew what I could do to help.”

She pulls me out of the hug long enough to look in my eyes. “Maybe you just listening and trying to understand is the best you can do,” she says.

But suddenly, I remember why I came out to find her. “I think I have some good news,” I say. “I think the last try worked. I’m late.”

Chandra gets a big ear to ear grin on her face, which makes me smile too. “Really?” she asks, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

I nod. “I won’t know for sure until I start showing, but I think so. I think I am finally with child.”

She gets down on her knees, her hands on either side of my stomach, and starts talking to the child. “Hey, I know you probably can’t hear much yet, but you have no idea how happy we are to know you’re there, especially your Uncle Gids. And don’t worry about all my craziness. You’ve got an awesome mom who keeps me sane…most of the time.”

I laugh, pulling her back up to her feet. Brushing off her knees, she takes my hand and says, “We’d better get back to tell the others. Gids is probably the one who’s going to be the happiest.”


	4. Nissa, Displaced Joraga

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While the rest of the Gatewatch has gone elsewhere, Nissa decides to visit her people. However, she may learn that home is really where the heart is.

(Two months later)

It feels so…empty without them. The sun hitting my face finally wakes me up. That’s strange, normally Chandra, oh that’s right, I think as I roll over. She and the others had matters to take care of on Alara. I’ve been there once, or at least to part of it. Ajani tells me it’s different now. I remember hating Esper. So much metal, distorting all life, it was unbearable. 

I knew this was bound to happen; that Chandra and the others would be needed elsewhere eventually, but I never thought of how lonely it would feel. Before I met them, I would have been content like this, alone with nothing else but Zendikar. But now, they’ve become family, a family I need. I keep telling myself they are out doing things for the greater good of the multiverse, and I’ll have to be satisfied with that.

As I stand, that’s when the nausea hits me, and I debate going back to bed. I could probably sleep all day anymore, I get so tired. It’s the growling in my stomach that keeps me moving. Between being sick to my stomach and being hungry, my body feels confused as to what I should be doing right now. I decide it’s best to try and eat and see if I can keep it down this morning.

While eating, I try to think of what I can be doing right now. Was there something Jace needed doing? Finally, it dawns on me. This would be the perfect time to go and find the Joraga and see how they are faring. I’ve been meaning to go back to my people, but had always found an excuse not to, Chandra usually being that reason. It’s not that I’m embarrassed, but I know they won’t understand. For one, she’s a human and two, she’s a woman. There’s not even a word in our language for that sort of relationship. The best I could call her would be a “mate,” which is far too simple of a term for her.

Putting on my clothes today, something feels different. They feel a little snug…wait a minute! I pull up my shirt and look at my stomach. Sure enough, while hardly noticeable, it is slightly rounder. I must seem like I’m crazu because I can’t stop smiling. I rub it gently. “Hello, little one,” I say gently, “you are finally deciding to show yourself. Soon, you will be out here, on Zendikar. I wish you had waited until Chandra got back though.” I really wish she was here to share this joy.

Before leaving for the Joraga camp, I realize I have forgotten one thing. I feel terrible I have not thought of it before. Almost instantly, the roots and vines twirl up around my feet, and I see a hand emerge from the earth. Finally, it is standing beside me. “Ashaya, I have missed you,” I say, hugging the elemental.

Its head tilts, as if trying to remember me. I feel so awful for having gone away so long. Ashaya reaches out one hand, and with a large, wooden finger, touches my belly. I laugh. “Yes, I’m a little bit different now,” I say. “What do you think?”

It nods and takes my hand. “Come on, let’s go find the Joraga.” I don’t call it “home,” I realize. No, home is here, with Chandra. I’m just visiting the Joraga, but that feels so odd thinking that. Because Bala Ged ceases to exist, the new land they have chosen feels incredibly foreign to me. In truth, all of Zendikar has felt foreign. Perhaps it is having been away so long, or even having so much of what I knew turned to wastes that gives me this feeling. There is so much that is new and trying to regrow, it does not feel like the home I remember.

I let my soul flow through Zendikar until I can feel the fierce hearts of my people, and I lead Ashaya alongside me. Upon entering the camp, I am not greeted with the usual suspicion that the Joraga usually give newcomers. I suppose that is good. It goes to show that things have changed here since the eldrazi. We are more willing to work together and to accept differences to rebuild what once was. I just wonder how long it will be before we forget how we fought together.

I see many faces I don’t recognize, and that is no surprise. There were several pockets of Joraga tribes spread out, and I imagine only a few of my own survived the initial attacks. I wonder if I would find Mazik or even Numa, though I suppose he would still not be happy to see me. In his eyes, I am probably the cause of all of this, which I sort of am. I am greeted openly, and many come to gawk at the massive elemental at my side. For now, they have not forgotten, though I am surprised they remembered the Gatewatch’s contribution. 

“Nissa!”

It is a voice I never thought I would hear again, a voice I was sure was lost to me forever. Meroe, mother, rushes to me, and takes me in a long and almost suffocating embrace. At first, only shock overcomes me, but then that is replaced with joyful tears, and I can feel her tears making my shoulder wet. She looks me over, as if trying to memorize every inch of my face. “You are home,” she says.

I am not quite ready to explain that it is only a visit, at least not in front of everyone, so I only nod. “I never thought I’d see you again.”

“When I heard it was you with those mages who defeated the eldrazi, I had no doubt you would save us all,” she continues. “And to think, humans helped you. The world has changed hasn’t it? Oh, but where did you go after all of that.”

“There were other worlds that needed my help. There were lives that needed to be preserved.”

She has been leading me back to her hut, and I tell Ashaya to wait outside. It won’t fit through the door. Mother does not ask about them. I think she understands what has been happening. I always did wonder if she have animist dreams like I did and only lose her power as she grew older. “And when did this all happen?” she asks, after shutting the door.

She is referring to the slight bump in my stomach, and I can’t help but marvel at her mother’s intuition. “Not long,” I say. I had no idea I would find her, so I had not prepared to talk about this.

“Well, don’t just stand there,” she says, “come, sit, tell me all about him. When are you coming to live with the tribe?”

“Actually, her and no, that’s what I suppose I should talk about.”

I tell her everything since the moment I left, even the part where I had released the eldrazi. At first, she doesn’t see how this relates to Chandra, but as I explain, she starts to piece it together. I’m not sure what disappoints her more, that I am having a child with a woman or that it is with a human. I know I must be getting that guilty look I used to give her when I would get in trouble as a child. As I finish my story, I wait for her response. At first, she says nothing, but then finally speaks. “And this Chandra, you are happy with her? She treats you well?”

“Of course,” I say, my voice nearly pleading. “She means more to me than anyone, and I can think of no one better to have a family with.”

She simply lets the matter drop and says nothing more on the subject. That makes me worry more. She is looking out the window when she says, “It’s getting late. Perhaps you should stay the night. I don’t know about the little one, but I hope you’re hungry for stew.”

My stomach answers first, but I say, “I know I’ve missed it.”

The conversation of earlier nearly forgotten, she begins to dish out a bowl. “Well, you always did have the appetite of a baloth,” she says. “Can’t even begin to imagine what it’s like now.”

I laugh because Chandra has something to a similar effect already when it came to my changing eating habits. One long meal with much conversing and a full belly later, I am exhausted from a full day. “I always did hope you’d come back,” my mother says. “I’ve had a bed ready for you all this time.”

The next morning, I’m already about to head back for home. “Wait,” mother says, “you’ll need this.”

She hands me some sort of old cloak. Truthfully, I’ve never seen it before, but it looks like it was from quite a while back. “What is this?” I ask, trying to look at it without completely unfolding it.

“Well, it used to be mine,” she begins, “but I figure you’ll need it more. You’ll be getting much bigger before you know it and you’ll need something that will fit you. Well, go on. Try it on.”

It’s a long and large robe of a thing. The fabric itself is rather silky and breathable. It feels rather light for as long as it is. My mother looks me over before I leave. “A little big on you now, but you’ll grow into it,” she says, patting my belly.

Before I leave, though, there is one thing still nagging me. “Are you disappointed, about me and Chandra?”

She sighs, trying to find the right words to express what she feels. “I’m trying not to be. I can see that you really are happy this way, even if it is not what I expected or wanted for you. Just…give me time to get used to it, alright? Maybe, you could bring her with you next time you visit. There will be a next time?”

“Oh, of course,” I say, hugging her. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Ashaya is waiting patiently for me outside and we walk back to the glyph. I’m actually surprised to find Chandra already there. “So, you take off on a hike?” she asks.

“Something like that,” I answer. “How was Alara?”

She shrugs, trying to make me feel better about not being able to go. “Eh, you didn’t miss much. Just the usual. Come in, wreck the place, save the day, and make it all right again.”

I give her a warning look. “I’m pretty sure ‘wrecking the place’ falls under your domain?” I say in a joking manner.

“Oh haha, this time Jace did more of the wrecking. Hey Jace, tell them about how on Esper…”

“Don’t want to talk about it,” he murmurs, walking off.

“Hey, where’d you get the new robe?” she asks, turning back to me.

“I have a lot to tell you,” I say, leading her back into our home. “Much has happened.”


	5. Chandra, Father of the Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Gatewatch is visited by an old friend. Chandra wonders how her relationship with Nissa will change after she drops some big news.

(Two Months later)

“Would you stop laughing so much?” I say, getting frustrated. “You’re making me mess up.”

“I can’t help it,” Nissa says between giggles, “the brush tickles.”

If Jace’s calculations are right, Nissa is about five months along now, and she really is starting to show. Unfortunately for her, when it came to cravings, the kid turned out to be more Gids than her. Not that Nissa is totally opposed to red meat, but just not used to as much of it. That’s not exactly her call anymore. As a result though, she has gotten, well, larger all over. It’s actually kinda cute.

Today, she wanted me to add Joraga markings to her stomach using green paint. I’m pretty sure I’m botching the job, but she assures me it looks fine. I’m not exactly sure what I’m supposed to be doing, as far as how it’s supposed to look. I keep doing some wispy green patterns that look like grass, all leading up to her belly button.

She suddenly twitches, making me mess up for the seventh time. “Nissa, I can’t concentrate if you’re…”

“Shh!” she says, taking my hand and placing it on the middle of her belly. “You feel that?”

At first, I couldn’t feel anything, but then suddenly, it was like a light fluttering feeling against her skin. “Is that…?” I ask breathlessly.

“I don’t think the little one is kicking yet, but there is movement,” she says. 

I position my hand better to get a better feel, knowing I’ve totally messed up the paint, and will probably have green paint on my hands. But, I don’t care right now. I feel a lot more fluttering motions, and it’s almost surreal that this is happening now. “Hey there,” I say, not exactly sure what I should be saying, “you’re pretty active. You like to move, huh? Just like me. I bet that comes from Uncle Gids, right? You’ll be using mom’s organs like punching bags just to stay in shape.”

Nissa only gives me a look and responds in kind. “Don’t listen to Chandra. She’s giving you bad ideas right now.”

I’m about to say more when we both notice someone is approaching over the hill. The rest of the Gatewatch is nearby, so it can’t be one of them. Ashaya’s like a guard dog these days and stands up to protect Nissa. My own fists ignite, ready if there’s trouble, but she holds me back. “Look,” she says.

It takes only a moment, but I soon realize that the person is not walking, but floating towards us. It’s Tamiyo, and I feel silly for having gotten so defensive. Nissa eagerly goes to her, and they embrace and talk like old friends. “We haven’t seen you in ages,” Nissa says. “What brings you to Zendikar?”

Tamiyo smiles and replies, “Word travels fast around the multiverse. I heard the Gatewatch was going to be short one for a while. Oh, but just look at you; absolutely glowing. How are you both?”

“Just fine,” I say catching up to them. “Getting ready for a new little Gatewatcher and all, but fine. How’s things on Kamigawa?”

“Same as always,” she answers, “but I do have some new travels I could tell you about. You know, the story circle misses you both. Nashi will be disappointed to find his meditation buddy will not be able to see him soon.”

I laugh thinking about that. There was a brief time where Nissa and I made a few visits to Tamiyo’s home and were made part of their story circle. I still haven’t quite figured out how many of those kids were Tamiyo’s and how many were nieces and nephews. They liked it when Nissa would tell stories of Zendikar before the eldrazi, and I could make a real show about Regatha, but the stories they loved the best were the ones we told together about the Gatewatch. 

Nissa found all the kids and noise just a tad overwhelming after a while and had to go meditate. Nashi, Tamiyo’s adopted son, followed her and decided to sit in her lap while she did. At first, she found this invasion of her space disconcerting, but Nashi was curious about how she was able to speak to worlds and wanted to know what Kamigawa had to say. After a while, Nissa became used to the little nezumi boy who liked to join her. It became almost a habit to have him sitting in her lap, his furry head tickling Nissa’s chin while they focused on their breathing.

“But I forgot, you’ve never been to Zendikar before. Come,” Nissa says, leading the way.

I watch as Nissa’s feet touch the ground, flowers and little plants bud around her feet. I’ve started to wonder if the pregnancy has affected her abilities, making her even more powerful. Jace and Gids have been helping to set up a new colony and wave as we come up the hill. Tamiyo is fascinated by all the nature on Zendikar and she’s asking Nissa a lot of questions about the ley lines. She answers them all without a second thought, all while helping the humans who are going to settle the area grow some new trees for fruit. Some kids are playing with Ashaya all the while, and I can’t help but smile at the gentle giant as they clamber up its massive arms. Everything feels perfect, for them.

Something has been nagging at me for some time, and I’ve been trying to find a perfect opportunity to talk with Nissa. I do see a small opening when Tamiyo asks to go speak to Jace and leaves Nissa alone. “Hey, Nis, what are those?” I ask, trying to sound casual, pointing to the fruit hanging from the trees.

“Cideopaya,” she says. “Try one.”

“Not bad,” I say between bites. “Still not the same as mangos, but not bad.”

She only rolls her eyes. “That isn’t what you wanted to say though.”

I hate it that she’s getting better at reading me. “Uh, yeah not exactly,” I mumble. “Listen, I’ve been thinking…It’s just that, well, soon you’re going to be a mom, so what exactly does that make me in all of this?”

She arches her eyebrows, now confused. I know I’m not doing a good job of this, but it’s turning out to be a lot harder than I thought. “You are still a loving parent in our child’s life. We are equal in that regard, Chandra. There is nothing to worry about.”

I shrug, shoving my hands in my pockets. “No, no, I get that and all. It’s just that, when they get old enough to talk, they’re going to call you ‘mom.’ Exactly, what are we going to tell them to call me? ‘Loving parent’ isn’t exactly easy for a two-year-old to learn how to say.”

She nods as though she understands, but I can tell she’s still a little baffled. Me too. “Very well, what is it you would like to be called?”

I look around to make sure no one’s watching. I can feel my face and ears burning, but I know I’m not on fire right now. I scratch the back of my neck and can’t meet her eyes. That’s one thing we’re still working on: how she looks at people so directly. Really unsettles them. “Well, would it be too weird if I said ‘dad?’”

Her head tilts a little, but she says nothing. Okay, Chandra, just rip it off like a bandage. “Look, I’ve known for some time that something didn’t fell…right, you know? I mean this was all before I met you and stuff. But after knowing what you and Gideon were doing, it just sorta clicked. I got jealous. Not of Gideon or anything, but what he could do that I couldn’t. Nis, I guess what I’m trying to say is, it made me realize I didn’t want to be your ‘girl’ friend.”

She didn’t say anything for a while, and the only sound I could hear was my own heart pounding in my ears. “So, you are saying that you see yourself as…” she begins.

“A man, yes, okay?” I say, just getting to the point. “I know that isn’t what you signed up for when you said you liked me and everything, but…”

She doesn’t give me time to finish blathering like an idiot before she wraps me up in a hug, her large belly pressed against me. I can feel the kid moving again. “You are still the same Chandra to me,” she says, “no matter what, and you will make a fine father.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I kinda borrowed a little from my own experience of telling my then girlfriend I identified as a man. Didn't go over as well as this, but hey, makes for good story material.


	6. Liliana, Unlikely Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nissa has the habit of going out for walks at night? Why? To settle the child? To avoid her own fears? Liliana may be the comfort that she needs, though.

(One Month Later)

There are places I know will never regrow on Zendikar, so why am I here in one of those places? All around me there is nothing but dust and decay. There is no Zendikar to connect to here, no life I can pull up from below, nothing. I have forgotten why I came here. Was it to remember what it once was? What was this place anyway?

I hear something behind me, and my ears flick to hone in on the sound. Despite how dead and isolating this place is, I’m not alone, I realize. An icy fear freezes in my chest and I realize just how defenseless I am here. There is no power from the land to draw upon.

I hear the sound again, this time closer, and from a different direction. Does it sound like the flapping of wings? I am terrified, and I try to run away, run back to Zendikar. But, for once, in my entire life, I am hopelessly lost. Nothing is familiar, and I am starting to feel as though I’m only running further into the wastelands.

The land so new to me, I trip, but I do not fall, at least not yet. Something scoops me up, turns me over, and slams me back first on the ground. My arms are pinned down and I cannot move. Like an animal caught in a trap, my breath has become short and erratic. Finally a face looms close enough for me to see. “I told you I would come back, little elf,” his voice says.

I can see the glow of the markings on the demon’s face, and for a second, I can feel my heart stop. Ob Nixilis hovers over me, a sick wide grin across his face. I try to scream out for help, but I feel as though my voice refuses to obey. “Your friends cannot help you now, and the land no longer hears you here. You are mine now.”

One of his clawed fingers rests gently over my stomach, and I know what he means to do. “I actually have a lot to thank you for,” he continues, “but you couldn’t just leave well-enough alone. Since you took my glorious future from me, I will destroy yours.” I can feel the claw beginning to press into my skin, just as his eyes glow with fury.

I bolt straight up in bed, a cold sweat covering my forehead, and I gulp in air. A dream…it was only a dream I finally realize. Slowly, that reality becomes more apparent and my heart settles. I look down to see that Chandra is still sound asleep, his arm resting protectively over my stomach. I begin to wonder if I have finally mastered the ability not to scream in my sleep or if Chandra really is that deep of a sleeper. The latter seems like the more likely possibility, which does not do wonders for my confidence.

I am also trying to meanwhile quiet the violent kicks to my insides. I’m not sure if I woke him up or if it was the other way around. Yes, I already know. I was actually surprised to learn that humans never know during a pregnancy. Must be an “elf-thing” as Liliana calls it. When I had said something to Chandra about knowing, he told me he wanted it to be a surprise to him. “Please,” I beg him as I rub the top of my belly, “I’d really like to go back to sleep now.”

The response is only stronger kicks. “Fine,” I sigh, “I’m up.”

However, a new problem makes itself apparent when I reach for my hiking boots. I really should know by now.

“Gideon,” I whisper, as I poke into his tent.

Nothing except for more snoring. Typical. This time I nudge him roughly with my foot. “Gideon, wake up,” I call a little louder.

This finally jolts him up. “Gods! Nissa, what are you…?” I hold up my boots. “Oh, fine. Get over here,” he grumbles. “Does Chandra know about these middle of the night walks?”

He helps me tie the first boot. Not being able to really bend that far anymore, I’ve had to rely on his help these past few nights. “No, and we’re going to keep it that way.”

“Well, have you at least thought about going to bed with these things on instead of waking me up at all hours of the night?”

I shrug. “It would just make Chandra worry more,” I answer.

He rolls his eyes. “There, done. How is the child anyway?”

In all this time, Gideon has never asked once. He doesn’t even speak to me, if he can avoid it. I think there’s still some lingering shame or something. “Fine, he’s kicking right now, hence the walk,” I answer. “Did you want to-”

“No, I’m fine thanks,” he says before rolling over and going back to sleep. “Wait, did you say ‘he?’ Does Chandra know?”

“Not yet, he wants to be surprised.”

Gideon is on the verge of correcting me, when he pauses. What seems like such a simple transition of pronouns to me and Chandra has been a bit more difficult for everyone else. Human language is so tricky. They put so much significance into words. Not at all like how elves communicate. “Well, you have my word. I won’t tell. Better get that walk over with so you can still get some sleep before the sun comes up.”

I doubt it, but I decide to take the advice. Ashaya follows me as I walk, which does make me feel safe. I’ve learned that Ashaya is willing to walk into some of the wasteland areas. I think that means that Zendikar can regrow in those places. But then there are the places that Ashaya will never set foot in, and I know that means the land is too damaged to regrow. What hurts the most is that there are more of these places than I was expecting.

A part of me knows where I’m headed, but I must have not been paying attention to where I’m going. I soon realize how quiet it is, and when I turn around, Ashaya isn’t there. I’m deep in the wastelands, just like in my nightmare. I try to ignore the sudden quickening of my heart. A noise behind me throws that whole mindset away. When a hand grabs my arm, it is no surprise that I let out an ear-piercing scream. “Good grief, elf, could you scream any louder?” Liliana says, covering her ears.

My pulse slowly returns to normal, but unfortunately, I’ve woken the little one again. I know this walk is now going to last all night. “You’re the one who scared me,” I say.

I’ve never understood how she is able to act as though everything is going according to plan. Perhaps it is, and that is most unsettling. “Care to explain to me why you’re all the way out here, on you own?”

I’m still trying to settle my breathing. “I take these walks,” I answer, “to settle the child when he gets restless.”

She shakes her head. “That doesn’t explain why you’re here in this place.”

I look around, trying to figure out where “here” is. Suddenly, it seems to come back to me. Subconsciously, I had been heading here this whole time. “This is Bala Ged,” I say. “It is where I was born.”

“I imagined something more…green,” she scoffs.

My eyes are getting moist. “It was one of the first places the eldrazi destroyed. Ashaya won’t come anywhere near here. It will never regrow.”

Liliana shrugs. “Well, you can’t make it regrow.”

I’ve been trying hard to understand her, but her comments already make me angry. “No, what you do is an abomination, and I’ll not have you doing it to my home.”

“Honey, you don’t realize that you and me are a lot alike. We both are mages of regrowth. You make plants regrow while they’re still alive, and I make them regrow…well you know.”

I glare at her, still unwavering. “What you do is unnatural.”

She laughs, a laugh that unsettles me to my core. “Let me tell you something about ‘unnatural.’ We’re planeswalkers, dear. Everything we do is unnatural. We leave our worlds, mess with the fates of other worlds for whatever twisted sense of ‘good’ we think we’re fighting for, and alter the lives of others without a second thought. For gods’ sakes, you make the world come alive into massive elementals that can squash people like bugs. How natural is that? But here’s the kicker, sweetie. This is just ‘natural’ for us, and we have to live with it. Ever think of that?”

I try to offer some sort of rebuttal, but her words have given me pause. I hate how she does that. She’s still looking around Bala Ged. “Hm, well now you’ve gone and done it. I’m going to have to bring this place back to life just to spite you.”

I look up at her, confused. Something feels odd about the way she has said it. “Are you trying to be…nice to me?” I ask. “You’re trying to bring my home back to life?”

“Well, when you put it like that, then I won’t do it,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest.

I think I pick up on the meaning of her words. “In that case, I would absolutely despise it,” I answer, though with just a hint of a smile.

“Well, then sweetie, you’re in for a rude awakening,” she responds. Is that a smile on her lips too?

She just sort of saunters away to do…whatever it is she is doing out here in the first place. I leave too, unsure of what just happened. It’s dawn by the time I finally get back to bed. “I no longer care if you kick my insides for hours. I need sleep,” I whisper, pulling the covers over. 

It isn’t long before I feel Chandra gently shaking me. “You go out on another midnight walk?” he asks.

I’m suddenly more awake. “Wait, you knew?”

He laughs. “Of course. I may be a sound sleeper, but I know when you’re gone. Didn’t take me long to figure it out.”

“So, you’re not worried about it?”

“Nah, I know you always come back. And if you didn’t, whoever kept you from coming back would have unimaginable hell to pay. So, you going to go back to sleep?”

“Yes,” I yawn.

He starts to get up. “Okay then, I’ll keep breakfast warm for you when you get up.”

I sit up a little. “Now, if you’re making breakfast, I could stand to eat.”

He laughs, kissing my forehead. “Of course you could.”


	7. Jace, Relationship Counselor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As time draws near, tensions do have a tendency to run high. Good thing Jace can read minds and negotiate arguments.

(Five Weeks Later)

I think now I’ve gone and done it. I don’t think it’s that I’ve said anything stupider than usual, just bad timing. Nissa’s kind of like Zendikar overrun by eldrazi right now; she’s big and her emotions are a little all over the place. I think I’ve genuinely made her mad this time, and the problem is I don’t know how.

She left to cool off, and I’ve just been sitting here trying to figure out what went wrong. I’ve also been debating whether I should have gone after her or not. She kind of just took me by surprise by just up and walking away. Right now, I’m just sitting on the ground picking at the grass when Jace walks up. “You okay?” he asks.

He says it so stiffly. I think a part of him isn’t used to talking to people on a personal level, but the other part of him wants him to do it anyway because he considers the Gatewatch family, just like the rest of us. “What do you think?” I mumble, not even looking up.

He sighs, looking like he hates having to explain what I’m already thinking. “That’s a silly question,” he says. “You’re upset and mad because you’ve said something to set Nissa off. Where is she anyway?”

I shrug. “Dunno, stormed out before I could figure out what happened.”

“Doesn’t that worry you?”

I stand up, brushing the grass off of me. “You’re a mind reader. You should know. Of course it worries me! I don’t have a clue where she’s gone, and if…”

Jace puts his hands on my shoulders to keep me from spiraling. “Look, it’s okay. She wouldn’t have left Zendikar, so she can’t be far. So, what did you say to her that made her so mad?”

“That’s just it, I don’t know. One minute, I’m suggesting that she start taking it easy, and maybe go on bedrest, and the next…I don’t know.”

“Oh,” is all he says at first. He’s still getting used to talking about personal stuff with us. It’s not exactly normal for him, especially when he can just know about our personal lives without our permission. “I think I get it. To her, that probably sounded like you called her a bad parent.”

I’m more than just taken aback. “What!? Where would she get that idea? I just want her safe, is all.”

Jace looks as though he regrets stepping into this situation. “And that sounds like you saying she’s incapable of staying safe on her own. You’re basically saying she can’t trust her own instincts. Look, I get what you’re saying, and I agree with you. Nissa, on some level probably agrees with you too, but you have to realize that she isn’t exactly the only one occupying her mind, so to speak.”

I laugh a little. “I guess you of all people would know that. Seriously though, can you hear our kid’s thoughts yet, or something like that?”

“What? No, I just mean that with her brain chemistry out of balance, she’s not really her, you know?”

“So, what do I tell her?”

Jace gives me a slight smile. “Well, the stuff you’re saying in your head right now is a good start. Be honest, and actually try and think about how she’s understanding it right now.”

I start to walk off in search of her. “Wait, you don’t want to know how I knew what she was thinking?”

“You’re a mind reader, dummy.”

“But I haven’t seen her all day. I’m trying to be better at intuition. C’mon, Chandra!”

I don’t have to look far. Nissa’s just down the hill, behind our house, meditating. Better at intuition, my ass. He could probably read her thoughts from a mile away. I’m actually kind of surprised she can still get into the lotus position at this point. I sit on the ground and join her. “So, ready to talk yet?”

She opens one eye. I can tell she’s still trying to be mad, but it’s not really working. She feels bad too. She takes a deep breath, opens both eyes, and puts her hands into a more relaxed position on her lap, or what’s left of it, I suppose. I take that as her saying she wants me to go first. “I’m, well, you know, sorry. I didn’t mean for it to come off as me saying I didn’t trust you to take care of yourself.”

“I know that is not what you meant,” she says at last, “but I cannot help that it made me feel that way.”

I nod, following along with her. “Okay, I get that. Look, the thing is, there isn’t a lot of time left, you know? I mean, of course you know. But, I just want you to be safe, and home is all.” 

“And I am capable of that. I am not fragile.” She says this a little shorter than I think she wants to.

“Of course not. I’ve seen you fight eldrazi, and take down big, hulking automata like they’re nothing. I know that when it comes to protecting themselves, I don’t have to give it a second thought. But even you know for all the preparation and protection we provide ourselves, sometimes the most unthinkable happens when we least expect it. Nis, if something were to happen to you, right now, and you couldn’t…I don’t know what I’d do. It would just make me feel better if you were here at home, close to me, where I would be with you if something happened.”

Any attempts Nissa has made at trying to still be mad at me have dissipated. I wait for her to say something. “I guess, I’m just…scared, Chandra. Today, when you said it, I began to worry that maybe I wasn’t going to be good at keeping our child safe.”

“You kidding? I wouldn’t trust anyone else,” I answer. “But, if it makes you feel any better, I’m scared too. The thing is, I honestly don’t know all that’s going on with all this. That’s your job right now, and you’ve got a front row seat to know exactly how things are going. I don’t get that, and my one job in all this is to make sure you’re okay. I know I’m getting ridiculous right now, but humor me this one time, and let me be worried for you.”

She nods slowly and purposefully. “Okay.”

I stand up. “So, did you want to finish meditating, or…”

She blushes profusely. “Actually, I’ve been done for quite a while, but the problem is…I’m kind of stuck.”

I can’t help but laugh a little. “Oh, now that is a predicament,” I say, teasing her. “I might be inclined to help, but…”

“Chandra, this isn’t funny. Please, help me up.”

“Okay, okay, but promise you’ll consider taking these last few weeks to rest.”

“Fine,” she sighs. “After today, I’m starting to realize I don’t get around as easily as I used to, anyway.”

“That’s the spirit,” I say, lifting her to her feet. “Besides, it won’t be all bad. I’ll wait on you hand and foot.”

She laughs finally. “That won’t be necessary, but that does sound nice.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to have taken so long with this one. I struggled getting this one out, and I have no excuse, especially since I knew what I wanted to write for this one.


	8. The New Gatewatcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At long last, Chandra and Nissa have their child, and who better to celebrate it with than their family: the Gatewatch.

(Six Weeks Later)

I wake up to the peaceful sound of rain pattering against the roof. It’s still the early hours of dawn, and it’s still a little dark out. But, I know I’m already up, and I try to slide out of bed without waking Nissa. I’ve just got to accept that “quiet” is not my middle name. “Hey,” I say, “how ya feeling?”

With much struggle, she manages to roll over and sit up. “Same as always,” she replies, “big.”

I chuckle, rubbing the top of her belly. “You’re beautiful,” I say, treading carefully, “and think of it this way; we’re looking at days at this point, not weeks. Should I start breakfast?”

“Now, what do you think?”

I kiss the top of her forehead. “Silly me. Alright, well, you get comfortable, and I’ll be back in a bit.”

She suddenly jolts, wincing just a little. For me, this is a red flag. “You okay?” I asked worriedly. I’m ready for anything at this point.

She struggles a little to get a breath in. “Yeah,” she manages to say, “just a little pain is all. Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Okay.” I’m still unsure, but I don’t want to have her see me worry too much. 

I go back, trying not to go too far. She’s actually fine for quite a while, and so I go back to work without really paying too much mind to it. I’m actually willing to believe her and say it was nothing. But then I hear, “Chandra.”

“Hey, you gotta be a little more patient than that, Nis,” I say in a joking tone.

“N-no, Chandra, I think i-it’s time. M-my waters just broke.”

I immediately bolt around. Nissa had been attempting to stand, and now she just stands stock still, unsure what to do next. I start to panic. “Um, okay, so this is happening now,” I say in a shaky voice. “Okay, okay, okay…so I’ll uh…uh…get Liliana.”

“What? Absolutely not, ahh-” Her brow furrows as she tries to think away the pain.

I get her to sit down. “Well, how many people do you know who studied healing magic and are nearby?” She doesn’t answer. “That’s what I thought. I’ll go get her…and you just…stay here.”

She doesn’t argue, but gives me that look that says, “Where would I go?” Yeah, it was a silly suggestion, now that I think about it. In the meantime, I’m practically running to Liliana, and it becomes pretty clear I’ve woken her up, which she doesn’t take too kindly to. “You’d better have a good reason for this,” she grumbles.

“No time!” I shout, as I drag her along.

At first, she has absolutely no interest in getting her hands dirty, but with enough begging, she finally agrees, muttering something about still needing us. For what, I’m not sure, but that doesn’t seem to matter right now. I’m still dragging her along, in a rush to get back. “Sweetie, if what you say is true, then she’s hardly started. It’ll be a few hours before she’s even close. Come back and get me when her contractions are closer together and more consistent.”

She tries to pull away from me, but I hold fast. “You’re not going anywhere!” I demand. “This is serious.”

“I am being serious. She’ll be fine for a while. Trust me on this.”

“But, but,” I stammer. “Look, if anything else, we need you…for moral support.” She raises an eyebrow realizing how ridiculous that sounds. “Okay, I know, you can tease me about this later, but please…”

“Fine,” she sighs, “but you’ll stay out of my way. Now, I don’t know, go boil water.”

“Oh, no, I’m not falling for that. That’s just to keep me distracted.”

She rolls her eyes. “Fine, go tell beefslab and Jace what’s going on. I’ll check on her.”

I start to run off. “Yeah, good idea. Oh, and she’s not pleased that you’re doing this.”

“I’m sure she isn’t, but she’s got little choice in the matter.”

I return shortly after. Nissa actually seems pretty okay. Course, Liliana said she would bounce back and forth for several hours. “Gids and Jace are on their way. How are you managing?”

“Fine, not too much of a difference.”

“Told you it’d be boring,” Liliana said.

It’s nearly the late afternoon by the time things really get interesting, though I don’t think Nissa would say the same thing. She cries out and falls back onto the bed after the most recent contraction. She’s not getting much time to rest between them anymore. Sweat drenches her forehead, and I can tell she’s really exhausted. “Please tell me there’s some good news,” I beg to Liliana. I can’t stand to see her in this much pain. Jace had offered to use a little telepathy to help her think away the pain, but even Nissa agreed that the last thing she wanted right now was him in her head.

“A couple more, and she should be ready to push.”

“What? No!” Nissa gasps.

“Oh, and you’d rather stay in labor?”

Another wave of pain hits her, but she manages to say through gritted teeth, “This is no time for jokes, Chandra. I’m not ready. I’m scared.”

I wish she’d let go of my hand right now. Her grip is starting to turn my fingers purple. I try to pretend not to notice. “Remember what I said. I’m scared too. This’ll be a first for both of us, and we’ll figure it out.”

This doesn’t seem to ease her mind, but it’s Liliana who’s able to say the right thing. “Look, elf, I’ve known worse people to become parents. If there’s any kid who’s got the best chance in life, it’s this one because they’re going to have you two.”

“Really?” we both simultaneously shout in disbelief.

She shrugs it off, trying to pretend it’s nothing. “Yeah, whatever. If it’ll make you feel better. Okay, you’re ready. Now!”

I never realized Nissa could shout that loud. She lets out a pretty feral cry, leaning against me, and relying on me for balance. I hear a loud thump. Gideon’s passed out, Jace looking at him in disbelief. “What happened?” he asks.

“Great, you outmanned Gids for once,” I barely manage to say, trying to laugh away my own pain. Nissa’s clutching at my arms at this point, and I’m not sure how much more I can take.

“Again,” Liliana instructs.

I’m on the verge of passing out by now. She’s cut off all circulation in my left arm, and I think I’m going deaf. “You’re close,” Liliana says. “One more.”

It is only with this last cry of pain that we finally hear the sound of healthy lungs, and we both breathe a sigh of relief, though I think Nissa’s is out of exhaustion. Her grip finally loosens, but I hold onto her, keeping her steady. “You did it,” I whisper.

“I would not have without you,” she says while catching her breath.

Liliana approached us, with a look of disgust. “I believe this is yours,” she said, gently handing the squirming pink bundle that is our child to Nissa. “He’s healthy, and everything,” she quickly adds, trying not to sound too insensitive.

He’s still whimpering, but soon softens as Nissa cradles him close to her. “Wow,” I say breathlessly, “I have a son.”

Nissa only gives me a knowing smile, and I had almost forgotten that she had known for quite some time. But then I see that the others don’t seem so surprised at all. “Wait, did you tell everyone but me?”

She looks confused. “You said you did not want to know, so I kept it a surprise. They did not express the same feeling.”

I only laugh and kiss her forehead. “It’s all kind of unbelievable,” Jace says.

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you don’t rely only on books for answers,” Liliana says.

Gideon peeks over tentatively at us. “So, what are you going to name him?”

This seems to take us both by surprise. In all this time, that was just something that never crossed our minds. In all my begging her not to tell me if it would be a boy or a girl, we had neglected to even think of any names. I look back at him. “Well, if it hadn’t been for you, none of this could have happened,” I begin.

He takes a deep breath. “I am honored, Chandra, but before you say what I think you are going to say, Gideon is not my real name. Kytheon was what was given to me at birth.”

“I like it,” Nissa says softly. “Kytheon suits him.”

“Then it works for me,” I say proudly. “Kytheon it is. But, I’m still calling you Gids.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Gideon says with a smile.

There is much talking and excitement, but I finally manage to nudge everyone out to give us some time alone. I turn back to sit beside Nissa while she feeds him for the first time. “He’s perfect,” I say, nuzzling her neck.

She is her usual content self, but I can tell she is trying to contain her joy. “He is ours,” she says.

I keep looking at him, counting fingers and toes, trying to ensure that this healthy child is not just a dream. “Are his ears closed?” I ask a little worriedly.

Nissa doesn’t seem to give it a second thought. “Yes, that means they will be like mine. Don’t worry, they will open in a few weeks, and be fully grown in just a few short years.”

“Aw, that’ll be cute. And hey, he’s got Gids’ eyes.”

“I’d like to think they’re a little lighter than his…almost like yours.”

I sigh. “This is perfect, this moment right now. Nis, I can’t imagine being this happy with anyone else.”

She gives me a sideways glance. “It will not be easy,” she replied. “There is a lot that we don’t know.”

“And we’ll figure it out one day at a time. Good and bad, I wouldn’t trade any second of it.”

“You want to hold him?”

I eagerly nod, and she carefully hands Kytheon over to me, positioning my hands just so. Maternal instincts have already kicked in for her. Her ears have remained fully erect and listening for danger since the minute he was born. “Hey,” I say softly, “you still probably can’t hear me right now…”

“He can hear just fine, Chandra, about the same as a human right now.”

“Okay fine,” I sigh. “Anyway, this is your dad begging you to cut us some slack, okay? We’re new at this. I promise to keep you safe.”

Nissa leans over and strokes his cheek. “And I will help you grow. May you grow as tall and sturdy as the bloodbriar, as strong as a baloth, and may you have the heart of Zendikar.”

“Stand up and fight for what’s right, even when others tell you it’s wrong,” I add, “and know that we will always stand with you. That is our promise to you, Kytheon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that actually concludes this story, and I am happy that you have chosen to read it. I'm debating a small sequel, but if I do, it will not be for a while as I fulfill other obligations. Nonetheless, read, review, offer critique, and I will always be available to fix this story so that it is the best it can be. Thanks again!


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